auntie, mind your business; hiding your pregnancy during the holidays

That was a long ass title, wasn’t it? LMAO

anywho…

Gathering with friends and family can be hella stressful. Especially when you are trying to hide your pregnancy. Cause everybody got that nosey ass auntie or a granny that dreams about fish. So, the holidays are coming up and I am going to show you how to dodge all that shit. Why?

I am sure you have been tearing that damn closet up trying to find something loose to wear to the functions. There are so many different options... Busy patterns/prints, low waisted pants with a front shirt tucked in, oversized blouse, or add a jacket/cardigan. Thankfully it is cold so everybody is layered. It’s easier to get away with.

Your health is more important than any of this shit. So… let me say that. If you don’t feel good and that early pregnancy exhaustion is beating your ass, stay home. Period. And you honestly don’t need excuses at this point because Covid is still a living, hating bitch and this flu season is not a game.

But if you think you can swing it, eat before you go. Opting for bland, easily digestible foods like crackers, staying hydrated, popping peppermints (which has been shown to ease nausea) are all natural ways to ease first trimester symptoms, allowing you to enjoy your time out a little bit more.

If you have cousins like mine, then you know shots will be poured. Then the dreadful question.. “Damn Cuz, you ain't drinking?”. But you can avoid all of that by already having a drink in your hand. We all use the red solo cups at the functions and cookouts so they ain’t gonna know. Put some ginger ale in that champagne flute. Or.. you can say “I’m chillin cause I’m Uncle Pete’s designated driver”. Every Uncle Pete I know gets tore up so I am sure everybody will be like “Aight”. Lmao.

You know another way to avoid it all? Show up early or on time. This ensures that you are making your presence known but you also get to leave before Aunt Mae renig during the spades game. You can easily excuse yourself before everybody gets lit. Or… you know how at black functions there’s a bedroom full of sleeping babies, right? Take your shoes off and lay down for a minute. 

You don’t have to tell anyone anything until YOU are ready. Cool? Now if you need anything else, let me know! Now enjoy that sparkling apple cider!

Love,

Your Doula